profane surreal dark art
humor & music a perpetually self-defeating mix of the experimental & mundane. Everything on this site is satire. None of it is true.
We do not exist.

unless noted all work by david holtek and creativedisease copyright 2006 Art Vice

  c r e a t i v e
d i s e a s e

Chewing the fat of excessive consumption since 1998

 
 

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LINKS

 

vhemt.org voluntary human extinction movement

sketchswap.com a great site to waste a lot of time yet help entertain the world

555 Gallery Detroit's coolest and coldest gallery with the hottest art

 

 

18 AUG 2008

  arachnoid anachronism cartoon holtek  

 

Look who makes an appearance in Vilnius

 

We love you too Frank

frank zappa statue vilnius

I don't tend to associate with the kind of people who proclaim to have no regrets. I figure if they don't have at least the potential to regret meeting me then they must not be very deep. - DRH

   

 

the legend of the headless Latvian footballer

 

"We are North American scum" - LCD Sound

Well, Helloooooooooooooooo.........we are back from Latvija and Lietuva.....at times we were unsure it would be so......the meager shell of our rented Volkswagon seemed small protection against the suicidal determination of Baltic drivers.........holy shit.....never knew that dashed line dividing the middle of a road is actually a third lane.

more soon.........and thanks for sticking around.

Talsi, Latvia
Talsi Latvia cat painted house

 

08 AUG 2008

 

   

 


passion flower - Ingrid Wallen

 

Theodorus is running down

30 flights of fancy

and once at the bottom

stares

 

   

I got to thinking about alien invasions and visitations the other day. Or maybe "alien introduction" would be better. Isn't it sad that the concept of "alien invasion" is pop but there's no ready word to describe when an alien race fills up the sky and lets us all know, more or less simulataneously, that they are here. Sure, there's stuff like "first contact" but that could just as well mean an elitist first encounter between the alien race and world leaders. Like, you know, George Bush 'n stuff.

But the semantics and nomenclature of it all really wasn't my focus. I was thinking about how hard it will be to get up the next day and go about business as usual. I think that would be a fairly universal human reaction. So, as a public service announcement for the human race aimed at this impending extra-terrestrial blow to the head I offer some simple suggestions:

Sure, chastise us for our naughty treatment of what surely must be a rare blue planet - we deserve it. We need to hear it just like a wild teen needs to hear her dad say to her "chill the fuck out!". But, here's the important part - be nice to us. Make us feel special. Tell us you're our biggest fans.

And Aliens, please do your homework. Don't just remind Salmon Rushdie that he's a great writer. Try to be more like Santa Claus or how believers want God to be. Take the time to send some messges to the "little people" - the dude whose manuscript just got rejected for the 3rd time. The homemaker wondering if his life has been for naught. The mathlete still in love with the frontier of unsolved equations.

Lie to us if you have to. Maybe when the trembling big haired Christians ask if there's a God just shrug your shoulders. Let it pass. Tell the Muslims you've heard rumours of "70-sum virgins" yourself but you can't verify it.

Tell little Jimme that was a good catch. Tell Jill that she IS pretty AND smart.

Tell us we're funny (in a good way). Tell us you could watch us all day. Please, don't stop. Etc.

And most of all.....Aliens, if you're listening - tell me, Dave Holtek, that I'm pretty good.

Even if you're lying.

   

 

05 AUG 2008

.....................................One good thing about getting old is earning the right to wear goofy hats un-ironically.

 

   

 

04 AUG 2008

   
PERMALINK

 

1 AUGUST 2008

Smart Boy and Proud Pappa

 

30 JULY 2008

   

   
As if the catty intra-district beauty scene wasn't tense enough that day..............  
trekkie hotties ...a couple of trekkie hotties showed up and the fur really began to fly!  

 

28 JULY 2008

   

 

 

Because it will make you want to sit in your own house on your own chair in a smart, crisp suit and tie.

Or perhaps he is on a job interview waiting in the lobbie consulting the Good Book for a last-minute pick-me-up. They say the boss can smell doubt at 50 yards.

Or perhaps, my good friend, he's waiting for you. That's right. waiting for you to come to your senses. To sit yourself down on that other comfy chair and grab the spare from the bottom shelf. You know, the one they keep around for wayward souls such as yourself. The one stained with the sweat of a 1000 doubters come before you. The converter bible. The big gun. The one aiming to blast those evil thoughts right out of your pink fucking brain.

That one.

 

  And how reassuring it is to know that we're all the products of incest. Actually, now that I think about it - that explains a lot.

 

Speaking of chairs

 

Meanwhile the beauty queen turf wars are heating up in this neck of the UK woods.

Stay tuned.

 

   

 

25 JULY 2008

the implied desperation of a US election cycle

her ass was so ugly it startled the livestock thus adding new meaning to "the cow jumped over the moon"

robbing Peter to pay Paul not to fuck Peter

the hard-to-read body language of a corpse

 

   

 

uh-duh-der-duh 2008

"sometimes I find I drift away behind a distant smile" - Ultravox

   

 

Used to be I could blame my man-boobs on pot. But now they say soy has loads of estrogen in it.
You know what that means for vegan boys - "Hey, tofu tits!"

 

Sullen, swarth-soaked saltflesh
Resined with essential unctuous meat oil Smears me in passing
Heating my loins but
Cooling my flesh, evaporatively.

Ohn Michael Bordeaux

 

 

 

 

 

 

<<<<<<< BACK IN TIME ONE PAGE
 

 

"Mood shift shift back to good again. C'mon be a friend"
"-Of Montreal

 

"It's like a discipline without the discipine of all the discipline"
-LCD Soundsystem

 

 

"And if you wish it will still hurt as before. I can hear you breathing I know you're there."
-Crispy Ambulance

 

 

 

 

"He who lives as children live - who does not struggle for his bread and does not believe that his actions possess any ultimate significance - remains childlike."
-Nietzsche

"

 

 

"karen put me in a chair fuck me and make me a drink I lost direction and I'm past my peak I'm telling you this isn't me no this isn't me Karen believe me you just haven't seen my good side yet"
-The National

 

 

 

"He drank panther piss and fucked the girls you're probably married to"
- Nick Cave

 

 

"The path to enlightenment is not reached by car and its landmarks will be signs on the soles of the feet."
-David Holtek

 

 

"I'm going to do things to you that are beyond all known philosophies."
-Duran Duran (Barbarella)

 

 

"Man is a rope stretched between the animal and the superman - a rope over an abyss"
- Nietzsche

 

 

"I used to be carried in the arms of cheerleaders."
-The National

 

 

 

 

"B-b-b-baby he's screaming the truth. America, America is killing it's youth"
-Suicide

 

 

 

"Let's have some decorum."
-Monochrome Set

 

 

"I don't care what weapons you use just as long as you keep me amused."
-James Chance

 

 

 

"Nag nag nag"
-Cabaret Voltaire

 

 

"In America, for every action there is an equal and opposing inaction"
-Dave Holtek

 

 

"You know it's time we grow old and do some shit."
-Broken Social Scene

 

 

 

"Can you dig it? Can you dig it?
Can yooooo dig it?
-Sirus The Warriors

 

 

 

"I hesitate to deposit money in a bank. I am afraid I shall never dare to take it out again. When you go to confession and entrust your sins to the safe-keeping of the priest, do you ever come back for them?"
-Jean Baudrillard

 

 

 

 

"Merchant and pirate were for a long period one and the same person. Even today mercantile morality is really nothing but a refinement of piratical morality."
-Nietzsche

 

 

 

"Like a dark stripe down the center of the night, two's as good as one."
- Arto Lindsay