profane surreal dark art
humor & music a perpetually self-defeating mix of the experimental & mundane. Everything on this site is satire. None of it is true.
We do not exist.

unless noted all work by david holtek and creativedisease copyright 2006 Art Vice

  c r e a t i v e
d i s e a s e

Chewing the fat of excessive consumption since 1998

 
 

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LINKS

 

vhemt.org voluntary human extinction movement

sketchswap.com a great site to waste a lot of time yet help entertain the world

555 Gallery Detroit's coolest and coldest gallery with the hottest art

 

 

DEC 13 2006

Well it's almost the end of 2006 so it's time to take a look back and cast your ballot for:

Now everybody calm down.
Buzzy survived being impaled on the fence post and he's happily lying on my lap as I type.
 

DEC 11 2006

He's known as the Chinese Charles Nelson Reilly.

Speaking of CNR......for a long time another popular search term that sniffed me out like a cyber bloodhound was "gay scarf". So let's get both me and Charles Nelson out there for the Holidays.

Seperated at birth?
Long last Dad? (yeah, *chortle* not much chance of that!)

....................................

DEC 10 2006

Wanna know what the number one search string is that people use to get here?

"Crystal Meth"

No shit.
So in honor of that here's one of the only things we've ever done to warrant being a destination for the "meth curious" (well, this and maybe my book "How To Build a Meth Lab in Granny's Basement Using Her Medicine Cabinet, Discarded Prosthetics and Support Hose")

   

Stop the presses!

I think marketing history has been made! A company has managed to cram all the wrong messages into one product/ ad campaign. Have you seen the "Soda Pop Girls"? Click on the pic to view the commercial. When I first saw it on teevee I thought I had clicked onto a spoof.

 

Let's see...picture of apples becomes pie and banana/kiwi becomes an ice cream sundae on their heads.......AND they come packaged in a sugar-mouth-watering soda pop bottle!

I tell you what. If they would at LEAST make one of these girls chubby, overweight, fat or obese then I would not utter a single j'accuse.

DEC 9 2006

PPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPP
PPPPPPPPPPP
PPPPPPPPPP
PPPPPPPPP
PPPPPPPP
PPPPPPP
PPPPPP
PPPPP
PPPP
PPP
PP
P
 

DEC 7 2006

   

In conjunction with the recently released "Iraq Report" we're continuing to publish bits from the
Southern Office Annual Report - (D. Rutland)

knock knock
who's there?
Iraq
Iraq who?
9-11

DEC 5 2006

  Where's Waldo?
 

DEC 2 2006

"Masochistic Tea Kettle"

- Holtek - ceramic - 2006

NOV 30 2006

................................

CreDi maintains an outpost in Athens, GA. Under the stewardship of John Michael Bordeaux and David Rutland it is the headquarters for our statistical analyses, genomic research and linguistic studies. They have just released their end-of-the-year report. Some parts are classified but some can be shared. Here's a sampling. Thanks for the hard work guys!

Annual Report - paragraph 3 - line 6:

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Because 9-11 changed everything."

The fact that the fine folks at squid.us just published a pic of my "squid pipe" is only a minor reason to visit them. There's a whole lot of cool cephalopodobilia there! So go pay homage to the species that will one day rule the planet.  

NOV 28 2006

Perhaps one of the lesser known activities going on here behind the scenes at Creative Disease is our participation in areas of Russian-American studies. Our loose affiliation with the research firm Xperimentix sometimes puts us in contact with visiting scholars. Below is a brief interview with Prof Gennady Tarakov on the recent speculations concerning the poisoning of an ex-Russian spy in Britain.


Professor Gennady Tarakov
 

CreDi: Mr. Tarakov, it has been discovered that former KGB officer and harsh Kremlin critic Alexander Litvinenko was poisoned with radioactive polonium 210. What can you tell us about the Kremlin's rumored connection to this event?

Prof Tarakov: How would be that I know of this? I am here at the convention for the conference on transitionary forms in the linguistic evolution of Solun to Old Church Slavonic.

CreDi: Well, in that case what's your opinion on these "Russian Bride" website services and such?

Prof Tarakov: Russian women they are strong willed. I think that if you take Russian bride that in few months you be...how you say?....Russian bride's bitch.

CreDi: Thanks. We'll take that under advisement.

NOV 27 2006

   

 

NOV 24 2006

NOV 23 2006

bush pardons kramer

Everyone - pardon more turkeys. Tofu is good for you and a hit of weed can replace that tryptophan buzz.

 

My cats are waiting for Santa again.

I've been trying to explain to Buzzy that just because the stores put up Xmas merchandise in October it doesn't mean Santa is going to come earlier.

I don't think he gets it.

NOV 20 2006

Remember my "Dora" cartoon? Well, looks like she really is exploring her options these days! Is that thing supposed to be part of the new encourage abstinence movement?

Detroit continues to give up it's secrets

"Phantom channel surfing" - you ever fall asleep with the remote in your hand and wake up to a different channel? I guess it's pretty lame if that's the most 'supernatural' thing that happens to you but at least it's something.

NOV 19 2006

NOV 17 2006

 

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"Mood shift shift back to good again. C'mon be a friend"
"-Of Montreal

 

"It's like a discipline without the discipine of all the discipline"
-LCD Soundsystem

 

 

"And if you wish it will still hurt as before. I can hear you breathing I know you're there."
-Crispy Ambulance

 

 

 

 

"He who lives as children live - who does not struggle for his bread and does not believe that his actions possess any ultimate significance - remains childlike."
-Nietzsche

"

 

 

"karen put me in a chair fuck me and make me a drink I lost direction and I'm past my peak I'm telling you this isn't me no this isn't me Karen believe me you just haven't seen my good side yet"
-The National

 

 

 

"He drank panther piss and fucked the girls you're probably married to"
- Nick Cave

 

 

"The path to enlightenment is not reached by car and its landmarks will be signs on the soles of the feet."
-David Holtek

 

 

"I'm going to do things to you that are beyond all known philosophies."
-Duran Duran (Barbarella)

 

 

"Man is a rope stretched between the animal and the superman - a rope over an abyss"
- Nietzsche

 

 

"I used to be carried in the arms of cheerleaders."
-The National

 

 

 

 

"B-b-b-baby he's screaming the truth. America, America is killing it's youth"
-Suicide

 

 

 

"Let's have some decorum."
-Monochrome Set

 

 

"I don't care what weapons you use just as long as you keep me amused."
-James Chance

 

 

 

"Nag nag nag"
-Cabaret Voltaire

 

 

"In America, for every action there is an equal and opposing inaction"
-Dave Holtek

 

 

"You know it's time we grow old and do some shit."
-Broken Social Scene

 

 

 

"Can you dig it? Can you dig it?
Can yooooo dig it?
-Sirus The Warriors

 

 

 

"I hesitate to deposit money in a bank. I am afraid I shall never dare to take it out again. When you go to confession and entrust your sins to the safe-keeping of the priest, do you ever come back for them?"
-Jean Baudrillard

 

 

 

 

"Merchant and pirate were for a long period one and the same person. Even today mercantile morality is really nothing but a refinement of piratical morality."
-Nietzsche

 

 

 

"Like a dark stripe down the center of the night, two's as good as one."
- Arto Lindsay